09.15.06

Further Down the Path I find my Muse

Posted in Hero's Journey, Screenplay at 11:42 pm by Administrator

I have reached a turning point since my last posting.  I am now meditating on a daily basis.  I rise at dawn and begin my day with a grounding and centering meditation exercise.   My intention is to spend about 20 minutes each morning but these sessions tend to actually last 50 minutes to an hour.  I find this pretty amazing because I use to have trouble sitting still for five minutes.

I am using a basic chakra meditation, a modified version that I learned from Kathy Jones’ new book, “Priestess of Avalon, Priestess of the Goddess”.  The exercise starts with bringing your focus to the heart chakra and then traveling down through the lower chakras until you rich the root chakra.  At this point I feel myself sending roots down into the earth then connecting to the plant life on the planet.  I then bring my focus back to my root chakra traveling back up the body to heart chakra and then up through the upper chakras until I connect with the crown chakra.  I send my energy out my crown chakra to the edges of the Universe while at the same time remaining fully connected with the Earth.  In closing I find myself surrounded by a ball of energy and connected to the energy of the planet.  I bring this energy back to my heart chakra and end the exercise.

During these sessions I discovered that I do better feeling the exercise than trying to visualize the exercise.  What I also discovered is that I am starting to feel a strong connection to the plant life on the planet.  I had a realization that all of the plants are connected by their roots and that they communicate and share information between themselves. This is probably going to sound strange, but they are aware of us.  They are watching us and they want us to connect with them.  This is especially true for the trees. They want us both to work together.  They offer shelter to us with their outstretched branches and they ask that we tend to them since they are stationary.  They need our help, especially in the drought ridden areas of the country.

During my meditiations I also have been feeling a call to start working on the screenplay again.  I put it down when I completed the Second Act at page 90.  I felt that I had lost my Muse and was forcing the story forward.  So I have let it sit for almost two months.  But this time has not been unproductive. I have been doing research to recharge my creative batteries.  I read David Korten’s “The Great Turning” and am now reading James Lovelock’s “The Revenge of Gaia,” which is a truly frightening book.  

On a much lighter and more artistic note, I did literally find my Muse.  I stumbled onto a band out of England called Muse.  It was an act of serendipity.  I was playing around with the web site MySpace and found their web page http://www.myspace.com/muse .  So now I am going gaga over a bunch of Brits again.  It has been years, maybe a decade or longer since I went crazy over a rock album but check out these music videos by Muse:

Supermassive Black Hole
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Xs1EM2_O3pU

Knights of Cydonia video
http://youtube.com/watch?v=YygyHCRrKho

Knights of Cydonia live
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myc9aEOxqJk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNJMOY4K7Ro

Is that cool or what?  They remind me of bands like Queen, Styx and Pink Floyd.  How can you not like a band that has lyrics like this?

Don’t be afraid
What your mind conceives
You should make a stand
Stand up for what you believe
And tonight
We can truly say
Together we’re invincible

That was from a song called Invincible from their Black Holes & Revelations CD.  You have got to check them out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hquAGsExAQ

Rock on,
Swan

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07.03.06

The Role of Fear on the Creative Path

Posted in Hero's Journey, Screenplay at 7:47 pm by Administrator

As I posted earlier I am at the 60 page mark in my screenplay.  This morning in meditation I acknowledged to myself that I am now terrified.  I wrote down the two main items I was afraid of.  First, that the screenplay is not any good.  And second, that I won’t finish it.

As I named my fears this morning I felt a release within my body.  By not saying anything previously, I had been holding tight to those beliefs.  Speaking them aloud allowed them to diminish.

What is one of the worse things a person can be?  A coward.  Especially a yellow coward.  As Americans we are taught to keep a stiff upper lip when it comes to fear.  We are taught to ignore our fear by whistling in the dark. We are also taught to be self-sufficient, to be the rugged individual who doesn’t need anyone’s help.   Is it a coincidence that the emotion of fear is typically felt in the body in the area of the solar plexus and that the color associated with our solar plexus is yellow?

As I acknowledged and listened to my fear, it told me that I would not finish my screenplay.  Well how does my fear know that?  What makes this cranky little emotion think it is an expert on what I will and will not do?  If I keep going forward step-by-step I will finish my screenplay.  All I have to do is not give up and baby step my way to completion.

It also told me that even if I did finish my screenplay it won’t be any good.  Don’t you just love the rationale of the guardian at the gate?  If it can’t get you to stop one way it tries another extreme argument.  My fear tells me it won’t be any good so why bother.  Just give up and go back to watching television.  Why even try when you know you are only going to be a failure.

Well this is a first draft.  It doesn’t have to be perfect.  Would I expect anyone else’s first draft of a screenplay to be perfect?  No.  I am not expecting Shakespearian quality.  What I hope to have when I am done is good structure, well developed characters, believable dialogue, and an interesting story.  And I believe those things are already there, at least in part.  I can rework the screenplay after I finish the first draft if I need to add more highs and lows to the story.

After examining and working with my fear this morning I finished my meditation by praying to the Goddess to help me with my screenplay.  I asked her to help it grow and develop, because I felt I was running on empty.  That I was relying too much on myself instead of being open to the Divine Source.   Afterwards I felt I had opened myself to the creative flow.

I see now that fear is part of the cycle of creation.  Fear is the inner critic, trying to keep me safe, trying to maintain the status quo.  Fear is the Tower card in the Tarot.  Walking through fear allows us to break down and destroy old beliefs, patterns, habits, and attitudes.  When I am feeling fear I am at the bottom of the cycle.  I am at the bottom of the wheel.  This means I have no where to go but up.

Earlier this morning I felt unworthy of the task I had set for myself.  But that is an old belief.  And like the lighting in the Tower card we should burn those old beliefs down.  Burn them away so that new beliefs can grow, can arise from the ashes like a phoenix.   From the ashes of destruction comes fertility.   And from the releasing of old fears comes radiant energy.

At the end of my meditation I felt again the releasing of energy from my solar plexus.  The fear had diminished. And I now instead of fear I felt a glowing inside me.  I felt a radiant light, like a yellow sun, shining out of my core.  So the shedding of fear is a process of letting go of the old.  Like a snake sheds it skin, we shed our fears, because those beliefs no longer fit in our life.  We shed our fears so that we may grow.

Many blessings on your path,
Swan

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07.02.06

Another Screenplay Update

Posted in Musings..., Screenplay at 7:35 pm by Administrator

The screenplay is coming along.  I have completed 60 pages, which means I have reached the half way point. Yeah!

I believe all of my characters have been introduced.  Rose is now traveling with the Caravan.  My two Villians are tracking her, one with more success than the other.  I have introduced the character of the drunk ex-girlfriend, Jezzy.  I love the character of Jezzy.  There is nothing more dramatic than a drunken ex-girlfriend.  I look forward to Jezzy causing a lot of conflict in my story.

More later.
Swan

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06.27.06

Believe, Listen, Love, Trust

Posted in Hero's Journey, Screenplay at 9:34 pm by Administrator

Sometimes I feel I have nothing to say or nothing to write about it.  And then I take one step forward.  I write one word.  And then I wait for the next word.  I write one sentence.  And then I write the next sentence.

Step by step, I work at my writing.  My screenplay and my blog are not cut from whole cloth but woven together thread by thread.  Word by word.  Sentence by sentence.

The Spiritual path is also walked step by step.  Most of us do not arrive in this world fully actualized, fully knowing what it is we are suppose to be doing here in this crazy wonderful world.  We have to dig for the answer.  We have to dig deep within, sifting through the dust and rubble of our past to find the gold nuggets that are within us.

Believe, Listen, Love and Trust are good companions to take on a Spiritual journey.  Believe is the magic spark that starts the journey.  I started on my path because I believed there was more waiting for me.  I believed that I had a part to play in this drama we call Life.  Believe is the spark and fuel that feeds the fire within.

But to continue on our Spiritual path we need to have more inside than just believing in ourselves.  We need guidance.  And to find that guidance you have to look within and Listen.  Be very still and Listen.  What do you hear?  Do you hear anything or are you unable to hear because your mind is chattering away?

If you are unable to hear your guiding voice embrace this information for this is what you need to know.  This is where you are right now.   You can’t change and grow unless you know what needs to be changed.  Love your shortcomings.  Love your flaws.  For within them you will find your greatest strength.

Love is the key to unlocking the door to your True Self and Trust is the Divine Answer.   In order to grow on our Spiritual Path we must embrace our Shadow.  Those traits that you cannot stand in others will be found within yourself.  Love and Forgive yourself for not being Perfect so that you can Love and Forgive others.  This is the path we all must walk.

In my opinion the hardest lesson to learn is to Trust.  We cannot know the Divine Spirit intellectually.  God(dess) is not found in our heads but in our hearts.  We must learn to Trust our experiences with the Divine.  We must learn to Trust that everything is connected, that the wings of a butterfly in a rainforest can effect change on the other side of the world.  We must learn to Trust that small voice that speaks within our heart.  We must be able to trust that voice when the world tells us we are mad, for when the world is insane, sane people will appear to be mad.

Believe, Listen, Love, and Trust, for you are a Child of the Divine Source.  The Answers and the Way are within you.

Namaste,
Swan

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06.23.06

June, Juno, and the Continuing Saga of the Screenplay

Posted in Musings..., Screenplay at 6:15 pm by Administrator

The month of June takes it name from the Roman goddess, Juno.  According to Roman custom, the month of June was sacred to Juno, hence the name of our modern month.

As a goddess Juno was known as the Queen of Heaven.  She was the wife of Jupiter, the Roman god who fooled around with numerous mortal women.  This made her a jealous wife and who could blame her.  Having your husband cheat on you would have ticked off any wife, immortal or mortal.  Juno is also known as the goddess of marriage, the home, children, and child birth.  I wonder how many June brides are aware of the connection between their marriage and the goddess, Juno.  I guess it is appropriate that I am “giving birth” to my brain child in the month of June. 

June 21 was the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year.  In celebration of this auspicious date I held a lovely ritual in my backyard under Grandmother Tree, a giant oak that shelters my yard.  The ritual was quite moving.  I cleansed the area with sage smoke and salt water.  Then created a circle using my frame drum and dried rose petals.  In the circle I lit candles representing the four elements, the goddess and her consort.

Summer solstice has traditionally been a time to rededicate ones self to the Divine Source, which was the intent of my ritual.  I rededicate myself to the Divine Mother and thanked her for her guidance.   I again realized that I am not writing this screenplay, it is being channeled through me.  This is such a comfort.  I don’t have to be brilliant, I just have to still my chattering monkey mind and listen for the voice of the Muse to speak.

This morning in my meditation the Divine Force visited me again.  She brought several ideas for scenes that need to be developed.  I have two Villains in the script.  One Villain represents unchecked authoritarian power (Major Tolley) and other represents unchecked aggressive power (Crime Lord).  These Villains balance out my male lead (Pandemonium) who represents healthy male power in the role of community Protector and Leader.

An idea came through of using doves as a way for Pan to communicate with Mrs. MacMillan that Rose was with the Caravan and vice versa.  Also as the person who helped Rose leave the city, Mrs. MacMillan is destined to receive a visit from Major Tolley.  Lucky, the dog, can be use as a device to find Rose after she gets kidnapped by the Crime Lord.  I will stop there for now but the flow of information that is coming from the Divine Source seems to be endless. 

I am now on page 37 and plan to be on page 45 by Sunday evening.  Many thanks to everyone who is following my progress, I appreciate your support.

Peace,
Swan

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06.22.06

Draft of First Act Completed!

Posted in Screenplay at 10:00 pm by Administrator

Good news.  I completed the first act of my screenplay.  It is roughly 30 pages long.  I am happy to say the feedback I have received from colleagues has been good.  I thought it was pretty good when I was writing it, but then it is my baby. 

So now I am working on the second act.  Pages 30 to 45 focus on the growth of my female lead.  Right now I am on page 34.  I should be working on my screenplay as I type this entry but I felt a burning need to keep people up to date on my progress.

I was telling a colleague that this is a channeled screenplay.  I mean that literally.  I feel so blessed to receive information each morning in my meditation sessions.  This usually manifests as specific things I need to include or explore in the screenplay.  This morning the Muse sent me insight into how I should end the story.  In particular what is my heroine’s ultimate goal and how it needs to be resolved.  Good stuff!

I am still playing around with titles.  I kind of am leaning now to either: “The Caravan” or “The New World Order”.

Oh yeah, just in case you wondering.  My screenplay focuses on the collapse of society in a post peak oil world. 

Blessings,
Swan

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06.19.06

More Updates

Posted in Musings..., Screenplay at 6:00 pm by Administrator

I am going to cover a lot of things in this post.  Just in case you were wondering here is what has been going on.

I did not get the job, which I think is really for the best.  On the one hand I would have liked to have moved somewhere else and done something different.  On the other hand I don’t think it was a healthy work environment.  So I give thanks that things worked out this way.

The screenplay keeps chugging along.  I am now on page 29 and I am almost finished with the 1st Act.  I have introduced a Villain but I think I really need two Villains. 

I am now walking a mile or exercising seven days a week.  And have been doing this consistently for several weeks.  Because of this I am no longer taking Aikido classes.

And finally I have been meditating every day for over a month.  This is really making a positive difference in my life.  I am getting a lot of creative inspiration during my morning meditation sessions.

Blessings,
Swan

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06.16.06

The First Week - Screenplay Update

Posted in Screenplay at 5:59 pm by Administrator

This is just a quick post to fill you in on how the screenplay is coming along.  As of last night I have completed 21 pages.  I am writing approximately three pages a night and should finish the first act this weekend. 

All in all I think it is coming along nicely.  I have introduced both my female and male Heroes (Rose and Pandemonium) and I have established the Ordinary World (Littleton, a small university town on the brink of economic collapse).  I also have a nicely developed Mentor character (Mrs. Anna MacMillian). 

Tonight I need to work on developing and weaving in a Villain.  I also need to add some dialogue to a scene where Mrs. MacMillian gives Rose a Gift, which will be important to later plot development. 

The hardest task so far has been coming up with a working title for the screenplay.  I started out with the “Wanderers”, but came up with “Where the Wild Rose Blooms” this morning during my walk.

That’s all for now.
Swan

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06.09.06

Meeting the Inner Critic

Posted in Screenplay at 6:27 pm by Administrator

Well I did it.  I started my screenplay, and already I have run into my Inner Critic.  Yipes.  (See my dream posted on 05/26/06.) 

My assignment last night was to write ten pages in two hours.  I was able to produce three pages in the allotted two hours which meant, according to screenwriter and author Viki King, I was not letting my screenplay flow through me.  While I was writing I could tell I was being too cerebral, that I was thinking too much.

Today is a new day and another opportunity to get out of my own way.  So I now need to communicate to my Inner Critic that his services are not needed at this time.  I was joking with a colleague that I need to send him out to coffee shop and let him eat doughnuts and drink coffee while I work on my screenplay.  After I finish the first draft then I can invite him back.  The Critic does have an important role but not now.  My Inner Child needs to be given free rein at this time.

So here is the plan.  Tonight before I begin writing I will meditate on inviting my Inner Child to come and play.  And I will let my Inner Critic know he gets to take the evening off.  I will keep you posted on the results.

Until next time,
Swan

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06.07.06

The Worm Dream and its Meaning

Posted in Screenplay, Dreams at 6:03 pm by Administrator

I had another dream this morning.  This one was much shorter than one I posted on May 26.  In this dream I am in my backyard under a large oak tree, I call Grandmother Tree.  At the base of the tree is a worm bin I made. 

A worm bin is an enclosed container used for housing worms.  It has small breathing holes in it so the worms can breath, but it is hoped, not escape.  The worms are used to compost garbage.  You feed the worms plant based kitchen scraps.  The worms then recycle the kitchen scraps into worm poop, which makes an excellent soil additive.  (No I am not making this up.)

In my dream I see young red worms escaping and running away from my worm bin.  I gather them up and put them back into the worm bin but I know they will try to escape again. 

My dream ends.

The meaning of this dream is again not what you would expect.  The construction of my worm bin was a labor of love.  In real life I am very proud of it.  I am responsible for creating these baby worms.  But in my dream the fruit of my labor, the new worms that have been born inside of my worm bin, are running away.  They are dispersing.

In my dream the escaping worms represent my creative energy.  My creative projects are labors of love, but I frequently have a hard time completing some of these projects.  My subconscious is telling me that I am letting my creative energy escape because I have not taken care of business.   I have not made sure I have secured the worms in the bin.  This dream is telling me that I need to be more aware and focused on how I use my creative energy.  I need to make sure that I stay focused on my creative goals and don’t get side tracked into wasting energy on activities like playing computer games or watching DVDs.

I see this dream as a pep talk and lecture from my subconscious to stay focused on writing my screenplay and not let it “runaway” from me.  I need to be careful and not let my time and energy creep away, like the escaping baby worms.

That being said I continue to take baby steps forward on my screenplay.  Last night I loaded my Movie Maker software and played around with it bit.  But then later I started playing computer games, so you can see where this dream is coming from.

Namaste,
Swan

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